Sneverous Sape
by J.C.Hutchins
Summary: It actually has very little to do with Snape. That was just a mangleing of his name i heard somewhere. I think it's stupid, please forgive me i was way hyper when i wrote it. I'd had a Frappacinno, a Coke, and a bunch of candy! forgive me, please!


Disclaimer: I own none of the wonderful characters and places created by J.K.Rowling, which is unfortunate as it would have been nice to think up something that cool! Also slight mention of Stars Wars characters so, as you know they belong to George Lucas or someone on his staff team!  
  
A/n: I am way hyped up on candy right now so I am not responsible for the nuttiness of this story! HA_HA_HA_HA you are in my control! (Oops did I say that out loud?)  
  
A/a/n: this is some sort of strange story about my all time favorite HP character Sirius Black (cheers) and my all time favorite character to torment Severous Snape (Boos (oh, BTW, I CAN"T SPELLANDI'M REALLYHYPERRIGHTNOWSOI'MTYPINGLIKEIWOULDBETALKING!)) Anyway, I'm going to do it like a melodrama I did once for a talent show, I have no idea who "The Shortest Melodrama Ever" belongs to but it is property of them! Enjoy my hyperactivity-induced madness and please R&R and only flame if you must, even if I do deserve it, all flames will be thrown at Snape in my next fic!  
  
Narrator (a.k.a the extremely nutty Josi Cate and her best friend Ari Bennett (yes they are characters in a much more sane story)): Welcome one and all to "The Shortest Melodrama Ever"! Enjoy it!  
  
Narrator: Now before we begin let me introduce our characters, first we have the HERO when you see him you cheer like this Cheers loudly please welcome SIRUS BLACK narrator puts on bowtie and tries to look heroic as she wouldn't dare actually submit the real Sirius to this nuttiness! Next I want you to notice our VILLAN when you see him you boo like this Boos loudly so I'm sorry you have too look at him but I'm going to torment him! Here he is, Severous (or was that Sneverous) Sape (I mean Snape, I think!) Narrator puts bowtie up to her lip attempting to look villainous (I know, Snape doesn't have a moustache, but that's how the story goes!) as she couldn't drag Snape on stage and he threatened to poison her if she touched him again! And last, but certainly not least I want to introduce our HERO'S SECRET ADMIRER WHO SWOONS WHENEVER SHE SEES HIM! When you see her you make sound like you see a cute baby like this ooo's and aww's loudly, so Please welcome, the infamous Princess Leah, no WAIT A MINUTE, GET HER OUT OF HERE! Ari, this is HARRY POTTER, not STAR WARS understand! (*Grumbles, last time I let her write the script*) now I will introduce the real person for this part…please welcome, er, well I think we lost the character! Get that Princess back here, oh she's otherwise engaged, well then Ari, you'll do. Now, I'm pleases to introduce, ARIANNA BENNETT the narrator (now just Josi as Ari now has another part) put the bow tie on her head like a hair bow and tries to look cute as Ari is sitting in a corner muttering about how she doesn't like Sirius, she likes Lupin. Well, anyway on with the show!  
  
Narrator (now in the Villain look): I am here for your potions homework!  
  
Narrator (now looking like HERO'S SECRET ADMIRER WHO SWOONS WHENEVER SHE SEES HIM): No, besides if you try and make me give it to you I'll tell the whole school that you've got a… (Nothing nasty, just the Dark Mark)  
  
Narrator (Villain): No you won't! Give me the Homework!  
  
Narrator (Hero's Secret Admirer Etc.): Oh, all right! But I know it's right, remember, I'm good at potions so HA-HA!  
  
Narrator (Hero): Hey! Don't I get to come to the rescue?  
  
HERO'S SECRET ADMIRER WHO SWOONS WHENEVER SHE SEES HIM swoons and faints. Then stands up again  
  
Narrator (Secret Admirer thing): Well, all right, why don't you give this git points to Snape a good kick in the shins, he deserves it!  
  
The real Sirius Black: Can I please actually do this part, but really I'd rather curse him…  
  
Josi and Ari: DO BOTH!  
  
Sirius Black: OK! Kicks Snape in the shins and curses him so he breaks out in boils, Hey! That was fun! Can I do that to Stupid Petigrew too?  
  
Narrator (Just Josi): Sure!  
  
Sirius: YEA! Curses Petigrew This would only be better if Remus was here…  
  
Ari (still looking disgruntled): You're telling me.  
  
Remus Lupin: Hey! Where am I and why is a 14 year old hanging off my neck attempts to pry Ari off, with minimal success  
  
Sirius: Hey Padfoot! I was just wondering the same thing is having the same trouble as Lupin is only with Josi, and having even less success oh, well! I guess they make nice necklaces!  
  
Lupin: Yea, I guess so…  
  
Narrators (Josi and Ari again): and they all lived happily ever after!  
  
Y/a/n/n (yet another authors note): O.K. and now you know why it's bad to let me have my best friend over and give me lots of sugar! Well, stupid as it is, I hope it made you laugh anyway! I have no idea why I'm posting it! Oh well! As I said before- all Flames will be thrown at Snape (this is not an excuse to flame me!) so please Review!  
  



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